I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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