paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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