Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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