it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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