Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
