How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming