is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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