Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize