he puts the penis in happiness.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
