the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
