remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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