he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
