i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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