dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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