Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
