so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
