your room smells of hookers.
And success
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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