i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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