at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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