after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
