why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
