you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
