If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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