i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
