No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
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I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
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is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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