I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
