that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
