I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
