Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
