we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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