i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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