i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
