Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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