we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
