How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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