Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
