I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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