Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Your penis caused this!
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