no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
