I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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