I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
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My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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