If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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