jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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