I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
