69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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