Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
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What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
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Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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