I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
