His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
