Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
