There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
