i just google imaged poop.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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