Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
