I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
