For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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