508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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