His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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