The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
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I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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