So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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