he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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