I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize