he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
